This is an excerpt from a larger list, where I give various activities a Sober Fun rating of 1-10. Entries from this list are scattered throughout my website, or you can find that complete list HERE.

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SNORKELING: 7

I’m not going to belabor my opinion here about how being trapped ON A BOAT long after it has stopped being fun can affect my SF rating, however, I will divulge another factor that could definitely sway my feelings about an activity and cause my rating to plummet: children. All my ratings in this list are presupposing that the activity is mostly child free, and if there are children present, it’s because some other group you are sharing a tour or a vehicle with had the poor sense to bring them. If you are being forced to do any of these activities with babies, children, or teenagers, then my Sober Fun rating dwindles to below 5, possibly even to 0, depending on the activity.

I’m mentioning this here because I kind of associate snorkeling with children. I assume that it’s a favorite amongst parents because it's cheap and requires very little skill or training. Even if your child can’t swim, you can stick it in floaties and put goggles on its face and a snorkel in its mouth. I’m guessing that commercial ads for hotels and resorts often portray children in this way because with all that stuff on their faces and in their mouths, it means now they can’t talk or scream. And then you, the adult consumer, can subconsciously associate the advertisement’s vacation services with the appeal of having a slightly less loud and irritating child.

Anyways, assuming that there are no (or only peripheral) children present, and that you have chosen somewhere enchanting to do your snorkeling, then this activity gets a solid Sober Fun rating of 8. I’m not the strongest swimmer, but if I’m wearing a life vest to keep me afloat, then I can do this for hours.

I’m thinking specifically here about the warm island waters off the coast of Thailand, where the ocean is so clear and full of life that it was like being plopped into a nature documentary. The only thing missing from my snorkeling adventure was David Attenborough. I wonder if really wealthy people and celebrities are able to rent him for an afternoon. Like, for special birthday outings you could pay top dollar to just have Attenborough follow you around and extemporaneously narrate what you were looking at? That would be neat.

If my rating was based solely on Thailand snorkeling, then it would probably get a 9. Sadly though, I’ve had many other less magical experiences, even a few that were downright pitiful. If there’s not much marine life wherever you are, or the water is too dark and murky, then snorkeling becomes about as much fun as fireworks in the daytime. I’ve even had a bad time SCUBA DIVING in a dark, murky lake, and that blows, too. When you can see absolutely nothing, the experience becomes simultaneously both terrifying and boring, which admittedly, is an odd combination of emotions to experience all at once.

Then at the other end of the spectrum, somewhere off the coast of Jordan we were dumped (with goggles and snorkels) into a section of the ocean that was so choppy and riddled with massive waves, it was hard to even swim, much less snorkel. I was afraid the only thing I might see through my goggles would be other people in our group drowning. In fact, the more I think about this, I have more bad experiences than good, so I’m demoting snorkeling to a Sober Fun rating of 7!